"It wasn't, but it would have been," JJ said. "My teenage self was stupid, wasn't he? I could have been married, had kids. But instead he chased after someone way too young who didn't even like him."

His own eyes were burning, his chest was aching and his body was way too warm. He was somewhere between angry, wanting to scream and make noise and hurt. He wanted to disappear again.

"I didn't come here to apologize," he was honest about that. "I came here to see you. Not to fuck you."

The implication wasn't lost on him.

"What was the point of me staying behind when there were clearly people around you who were able to love you better than I could?" His voice was loud. Too loud. He was shouting and hadn't even realized it.

Others were going to hear him.